Without A Feeling
by NightsEvocativeMoon
Summary: HOSTAGE : Mars's past is even darker than his present
1. Out of Place

I didn't even think he was attractive at first.

Nothing about him struck me apart from his hair. Shoulder length, dark brown with a slight wave. It only caught my attention because we were in an expensive suburb, and most of the guys hair there looked like either a poodle cut too short or a porcupine with blonde tips.

We were going food shopping, not the general orange juice and yoghurt kind, the party kind. Kali had arranged a sleepover with all four of us girlfriends at her house, and guys were definitely invited. This was a once a year occasion when her overly-restrictive parents went on a dismal vacation somewhere else in the state. Not too far away, but just far enough for us to finally have some fun.

He looked out of place, standing in the shopping centre car park, leaning against his old red pickup truck, another thing that stood out in this area. Getting out of the car with Kali, Erin, and Sasha was like waiting for a bus that was scheduled for the next day. All of them refused to even unbuckle until they had re-applied their makeup in the cars side mirrors, had a few puffs of a cigarette, made some comment about how I should start smoking, and then re-applied their lipstick yet again after it had partially come off on the cigarette.

During this process I got out, shut the car door and stood in the sun, letting them all choke themselves with smoke with the windows rolled up. I stared at the guy from behind my sunglasses, which really didn't do their job as I still had to squint.

He was tall. Very tall, I noticed as he towered over his car. He was wearing a black leather jacket with zips, and on a day with this kind of temperature, this was strange, but still not even close to the strangest thing about him. The fact that he stood there with his hair all over his face, wearing clothes suitable for the middle of winter, while leaning against and old red pickup and smoking a joint in broad daylight wasn't what stood out the most, it was his expression.

Intense. So intense it was hard to look at. It was hard to decipher what kind of an expression is was. He didn't look angry, exactly, he just looked…intense! From where I stood about 20 metres away, I could almost feel it physically, and I realised why.

As I had been analysing the other aspects of him, I hadn't realised that he was staring straight at me the whole time, fixing his intense eyes on me. Before I had the chance to start blushing and quickly pretend that I was looking for my lost dog or something, my friends saved me and got out of the car finally, a cloud of smoke billowing out of the windows as they rolled them down slightly to let some air in.

When we got out of the supermarket, bags full of every kind of liquor and junk food to make it a night to remember, the red pickup truck was gone. I stared at where it had been, noticing some skid marks on the bitchamin nearby, probably made by him pulling out too fast.

"Ella…hellooo!! Wakey wakey!", Erin said as she climbed into the backseat of Kali's Escalade. I jumped into the other side of the car.

"What were u staring at?", she asked in a jokingly suspicious voice.

"Just some marks on the road, probably some idiots doing burnouts after hours or something".

When we got home, we all got drunk, and when that happens with all four of us, one person always sobers up first and ends up looking after everyone else. That person is me. Kali had invited her boyfriend over, her fourth this month, and while they were busy occupying themselves upstairs in her bedroom, Erin and her boyfriend of 2 years were busy arguing over what song to play on the stereo, and as they were both smashed, they music they finally agreed on sounded more like folk music off an oldies station than something to dance to. Sasha and I sat on stools facing the kitchen bench.

Kali had organised blind dates for both of us, but they guys who showed up at the door looked about 35 and were both covered in tattoos, so Sasha told them they had the wrong address, and they bought it, but were back 20 minutes later knocking on the door, at which point we turned the music up, blatantly ignoring them until they left for good.

The rest of the night was alright, apart from the occasional bump on the head, as the drunken Erin leaned across the bench to grab another beer and consequently banged her head on the fridge door.

Later on I went up to check on Kali and her new boyfriend Keith…or was it Callum?, knowing that they were both so drunk that it was impossible that they were still awake, so I was unlikely to be interrupting their err… 'activities'. I found them both asleep in the bathtub, completely passed out and decided to leave them, as they were in no state to tell the difference between a mattress, and a bath partially filled with vodka.

The next morning everyone woke up with the worst migraines we'd ever experienced, so we all sat there in the kitchen in silence, gulping down potfuls of black coffee. Just as I had sobered up first, my migraine was the first to go, so as Kali's parents were coming home the next day, and I knew that no one else was in a well enough state to leave the bathroom or kitchen, I offered to collect the bottles and cans and put them in the trash out front.

I walked out her front door with the large, black garbage bag slung over my shoulder, and opened the gate. I hadn't looked at the clock yet, but I guessed it was around 11 am, considering everything was in full light, and the heat was just starting to creep up again. I opened the lid of the trash can, and after practically going crazy swiping away the flies that came buzzing out in my face, I buried the bottles and cans under another bag of garbage that was already in there, in case her parents had the presence of mind to check if we'd been drinking. Over-protective, enough said.

Satisfied that I had hidden the evidence (what the hell), I looked down the street. Ever since I was little, I had been jealous of where Kali lived. I would have given anything to live on a street like hers with oak trees spread down each side , each one perfectly planted 5 metres from the next, with perfectly flat and smooth roads, whose white lines hadn't faded a bit since they were painted, houses with turrets and great picket fences surrounding them, whose size can only be compared to a department store. Everything about where she lived made me long to someday own an expensive house in the suburbs, have a perfect lawyer as a husband and to someday produce 2 gorgeous daughters.

When I had stopped day dreaming, I started to make my way back inside, when I heard the loudest crashing noise behind me that made me scream and spin around. I stared at what the noise had come from in amazement and horror, as I dialled 911…


	2. Delivery Boy?

**Chapter Two**

The scene in front of me was both shocking and confusing. What was he doing here? What happened? It was the guy from the parking lot. His pickup was parked at the end of a driveway across the road from Kalis house, and he lay on the ground behind it with a least a dozen metal pipes lying every which way over his body.

"Oh My God, are you ok?"

Stupid question considering his organs were probably being crushed as I spoke.

"Oww... Fuuuuuuccccckkk."

He lay there squinting at the sun in his eyes, and the pain coming from his forehead, which was leaking a slight, but steady flow of blood.

"Can you help me...?"

In the abrupt sequence of events, it hadn't occurred to me to try and get the pipes off of him. Idiot. He groaned as I lifted each one off of him and chucked them on the sidewalk, the whole time trying to convince him that I should call an ambulance.

"I'm fine, it's just a bump." He placed his hand on his head and inspected the blood residue on his fingers. "Or not."

"Seriously, you should let me call an ambulance…"

"No I'll be fine, not the first time it's happened, and it won't be the last."

He finally stood up which gave me confidence that he had no broken bones and hopefully wasn't bleeding internally. After seeing the blood had stopped running on his forehead, and checking him over, deciding that he most likely wasn't going to die, I finally asked the obvious.

"What _happened_?"

"The latch on the door of the back of my van, it's always breaking. Have to replace it about twice a month. Time I got a new car."

"What are the pipes for?"

"I work for a delivery company, today its plumbing pipes, just my luck."

Should I mention seeing him in the car park? I watched him gather the pipes and put them in the front passenger seat, noticing that he had the strength to carry all of them at once. I struggled with two at a time, impressive I know. The conversation had halted, but I noticed him checking me over, looking me up and down. I'd gotten this physical evaluation from guys before, but I got the feeling that it wasn't exactly my looks that he was analysing.

Feeling the need to say something to break what I feared would be a very long, awkward silence if it went for any longer, I said the only thing I could think of.

"I'm Ella." Basic. To the point.

"I'm Mars."

Silence, still that _stare_.

"That's your actual name?"

"It's the name people generally, _actually_ call me."

"Nice." Stupid, but what else was I going to say? I stood there feeling uncomfortable and shifty, why did he keep staring?

Then, out of no where, "So, you interested?"

Shit! Was I that obvious?!? "Umm...what?"

He motioned to his car. "After I've delivered these pipes to the man inside that house, who specifically told me to 'be careful with them', want to go for a drive?"

_So_ out of the blue, yet I liked it. Something about his honest, deep and gravely voice made me trust him immediately, and even though I knew I really had no idea who he was or whether it was safe or not, I got in the car, following my gut instincts. Something I'd never do again without fearing their validity.


	3. Forced Silences

Forced silences

He started off down the road, and remained silent as he stared ahead of him. Waiting…waiting…it was pointless, I had to say something.

"So...do you like music?"

He gives me a 'Derr..." kind of look, which makes my insides turn.

"Err..I mean, what _kind_ of music do you like?" I was babbling on like an idiot.

Oh God, he wasn't replying, he just sat there staring forward still, shit.

But just as I was struggling to come up with my next question, he surprised me by suddenly pressing 'play' on his car stereo, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

The music coming out of the speakers was the most loud, evil and sinister sounding Industrial music I had ever heard. I tapped his shoulder to get his attention and mouthed 'Too loud!', he gave me a sexy kind of half smile, then turned it down, just enough so we could at least yell at each other over it.

Turns out there was no point, 3 minutes later we pulled into a bottle-o.

"You want anything?", he asks as he gets out of the car.

"No thanks, I drank a lot last night"

"Suit yourself, I'll be back in a minute" He presses the lock button on his car keys as he leaves, and I can't help but wondering if it was to stop people from getting in, or to stop me from getting out? Maybe it was just a natural habit.

He got two bottles of Jim beam, 1 bottle of Smirnoff and 2 six packs of beer. I eyed the big brown packages with a shocked expression, but he didn't need to be asked.

"My little brothers having a party tonight, asked me to get some booze for him, told him I could just get him a fake Id instead, but turns out the lazy ass would rather send me to do his dirty work"

"Oh, right" Is all I respond with. This is the most he's said at once all day and I don't want to stop him by saying something stupid.

"We gotta stop by my house to drop it off, then we can head out again if you want"

I didn't know if I liked the idea of going into his house, not just yet, but what was I going to say? For some reason I really liked this guy and I seriously didn't want to put him off by saying no. "Ok sure"

His home resembled him perfectly. The shades were all drawn so you could barely see where you were walking, obviously he had gotten used to this as he moved around his kitchen easily in the dark, while I had to feel along the bench tops. Again, I could've just asked him to turn a light on, but for some reason I didn't. He told me I could look around if I wanted, and that he was just going to get changed out of his work clothes.

As soon as he was out of sight, I opened the kitchen blind just a tad, just enough to see the outline of things in the kitchen and lounge room. Nothing exciting, just two old sofas, a TV and a bean bag. The walls were all plain brick, I could tell that before I could even see them judging by how cold it was compared to outside.

He told me I could look around, but I was still hesitant. This was his house, a strangers house, who I knew for a fact smoked pot and had access to fake Id's and bought alcohol for minors. Not that this wasn't stuff my friends and I hadn't all done before, but there was something different about him.

It had been ten minutes and I was getting restless so I decided to look around after all, I could only just make out a hallway in the darkness, and I made my way towards it, feeling along the walls every step I took. Once I had turned the corner, there was no longer a crack of light, it was completely and utterly pitch black, and silent. Where _was_ he?

"Hello?" I said, listening out for a reply. Nothing.

I leant against the wall in the darkness waiting to hear someone or something, when I heard walking towards me. "Oh there you are", I said. Still nothing.

I put my hand out, and in shock I was touching a bare chest, standing on the opposite side of the hallway, directly facing me. I gasped. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to I was just.." I trailed off as he pressed a finger to my lips. Was this sexy or scary? I couldn't tell, and I just stood there frozen waiting for what would happen next.


	4. The Advance

The advance

I couldn't see him, but I could feel him as he pressed me up against the wall, his hands firmly on each of my hips. I was completely frozen, and suddenly I felt really hot. I could feel his hot breath on my face. He just held me there, both of us breathing heavily in tandem. It was so sexy, and so eerie. I didn't know what to make of it. He didn't kiss me, or touch me. It was he enjoying just having me, holding me there. Like he was getting off on this intense moment where absolutely nothing was happening.

Then as quickly as it had started, it had ended. He just dropped his arms and began walking away.

"C'mon, lets go"

I didn't say anything. I _couldn't _say anything. It was half a year since I'd been in a sexual relationship, but it was all coming back to me, exept this time, the feeling was much stronger. I wanted him, and we'd only just met, but I already wanted him so badly, and I felt it was mutual, but I couldn't exactly tell. After we walked out of the hall way, it was weird, he looked just like he always had, there was no sign of what had happened between us in the dark, he was acting exactly the same with me as he had before, but now he turned the light on.

"You want a drink?" Actually, I was _dying_ of thirst now, but playing it cool I replied quietly "Sure". He brought me back a can of Jonnie Walker & Cola, he obviously meant alcohol when he said 'a drink', even though I told him earlier that I didn't want any.

As he was getting a beer out of the fridge for himself, I took advantage of his focus not being on me and checked out his body. He still wasn't wearing a shirt ( ) and I realised that he had the perfect figure, in my opinion. He was relatively thin, not skinny or lanky but hardly buff, but I liked this. His arms were toned and he had flat hard abs. Oh God, just looking at him was making me blush, so I looked away quickly when he turned, pretending to check out his dvd collection, which was the next thing that caught my eye. They were all horror and thrillers. All except the 3 volumes of Jackass in a box set.

After he's put his beer in a stubby holder, he turned the light back off, and sat on the opposite sofa from me. "So you like the dark huh?"

"Actually, on really hot days I keep the lights off and the blinds drawn to keep it cool in here"

Do I believe his reason? No. Do I let him know of this? No.

"Ohh ok" He changes the subject abruptly.

"So was that your house you came running towards me from?"

"Nah that's my friend's house, we had a party last night. Shit that reminds me, can I borrow your phone my friends have no idea where I am"

"That a problem? "

"Not really it's just that I went to put some stuff in the bin and I never came back"

"Don't worry about it, If you guys were all drinking last night they probably won't even realise what going on this morning"

Is he trying to talk me out of it? "Still," I say " I'd better at least leave them a message so they don't worry later on" I get up and make a move for the receiver on the wall.

"It doesn't work", he says.

"What?"

"The phone, someone must've cut my line, it stopped working a couple of weeks ago"

"Oh". Why didn't he tell me this instead of trying to convince me not to call them?

I returned to the sofa opposite from him, and sipped my drink, looking around the room.

"It's pretty empty, your house"

"Yeah I know my lease runs out in a couple of weeks, been packing up stuff for days"

"Óh where are you moving?"

"Out." I laugh. "Obviously I mean where are you moving from here"

"Just somewhere else, need a change. You want a cigarette?"

"No thanks I don't smoke"

He picks up what looks like a cigarette and lights it in the darkness, but when I smell it I realise its a joint, did he just try to trick me on purpose?

I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable, not to mention he's staring at me again. I can't stand it, I'm squirming on the spot and I avoid his eyes at all costs, but I can't help it, so I try a different approach. I stare right back at him. It terrifies me. It's completely silent, and here we are across the room staring at eachother. That same half smile plays across his lips and he slowly stands up, making his way towards me rhythmically. All I can do is keep staring into his burning eyes, and he kneels down right in front of me.


	5. Another Reality

He stared at me, only centimetres from my face now, and put his hand on my thigh, but I was wearing jeans so it wasn't too personal.

He looked down at my lips, which were slightly parted in anticipation, all the while not saying anything. Leaning further over me, he slowly brought his face closer to mine, making each movement painfully slow. I was dying for him now. I needed to do this.

He lay over me on the sofa, and leant in as if to kiss me, but didn't. Instead he took another hit of the joint that was still in his hand, and blew it into my mouth. I coughed and he smiled. I was totally confused and way out of my comfort zone at this point. I had no idea what was going to happen, or even what I wanted to happen. He did it again, over and over getting me higher and higher until I didn't even care what he did anymore. I let myself slip into the moment, taking in everything yet understanding nothing, and it didn't faze me in the slightest. The last thing I remember was the feeling of his mouth on mine, so gentle, yet insistent at the same time. Everything turned a fuzzy dark purple colour and I blacked out.

I woke up the next morning and when I opened my eyes got the shock of my life. I had absolutely no idea where I was or what had happened. Just as my heart rate was in danger of tripling it's speed, it all started coming back to me, well not all. I remembered where I was, and who the guy lying behind me on the sofa was, but everything else was a blur.

I got up really carefully, not daring to wake him. He wasn't naked, which gave me confidence that we hadn't…we hadn't…my thoughts trailed off as I looked down at myself. Replacing my jeans was a pair of black boxers, and my singlet was lying across the other side of the room. So I was currently wearing nothing but my bra…and his boxers…but he was wearing his boxers! He must have leant another pair to me for the night...that must have been the reason I was wearing them. I didn't want to think of the other possibilities.

The minute I stood up, I knew something was wrong. My head was spinning, and so was the room. Before I fell completely over I grabbed the arm of the sofa opposite Mars, and sat down, taking it all in still. As I sat down I noticed a large bruise on my upper arm. I felt really sick, and still really had no idea what had happened. I decided I had to leave. Right away before he woke up. I found my jeans lying by the sofa and put my singlet back on in a hurry. Did I bring anything else? In all the confusion I couldn't even recall how or why I ended up in his house.

I ran for the front door and yanked it open, straight away realising it was actually the back door. I was panicking now, not that I had any proof that I had a reason to be worried, but I still was. I slammed the back door shut again. SHIT. He woke up instantly and saw me standing there breathing heavily.

"Calm down.." he said making a move towards me. That's when I ran. Ran as fast as I could towards what I hoped was the front door this time, and pulled it open, only for another hand to slam it shut again.


	6. Trapped

Chapter 6 – Trapped

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, hoping, begging for it all to go away. I let go of the door handle, and just stood there with my back against the door. He stood there with a look of anger on his face. It terrified me, it was all I could do not to scream of to just pass out right there.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!?", he said quietly, but menacingly.

I couldn't say anything. I tried, but failed. There was no voice left.

'Your coming with me, we're going to talk about this"

I didn't know what to do. It was clear he was way stronger than me, so fighting back wasn't an option. I just went with him. Let him lead me to his bedroom, and sit me down on the edge of the bed. His grip on my wrist was forceful , but every movement was made slowly. Pulling a chair up to the edge of the bed, he sat opposite me, and stared at me hard, not saying anything, not moving a muscle. I tried to look away but he grabbed both sides of my face, pulling me to face him again.

By now I was completely and utterly frozen, yet tears started to stream down my face.

Looking at him now, he had completely changed again compared to five minutes ago. An expression of hurt and concern washed over his face as he joined me on the bed and hugged me. I tensed up immediately, terrified of what he was going to do. But nothing happened. His embrace was so gentle I could barely contemplate that it was the same person holding me. Looking down at me, he brushed the hair out of my face and wiped a tear away with his thumb. I looked back up at him, wide eyed, confused and suddenly completely exhausted. Astonishingly, I fell asleep, there in his arms.

I woke up, still on his bed, but now under the covers and my head on a pillow. Confusion and terror washed over me again as I remembered what had happened. I turned over and practically screamed when I saw that he was lying on the other side of the bed watching me.

"I want to go home", I managed to barely whisper.

"Don't say that, I know you don't mean it", he said with confidence.

"But I.."

"Never say things you don't really mean Ella, you could get in a lot of trouble that way"

I looked back at him. He was crazy, I had to get out. I decided to play along with this game he had going. That we were just friends and this was all in good fun. That there wasn't something very, very wrong happening here.

"So , are you hungry?", he said just like anyone would.

I couldn't even contemplate eating right now. That's what happens when your scared, you forget about everything else. Like something as small as food for instance. If I was to keep pretending everything was ok though, I would have to act normal.

"Actually yeah, I'm pretty hungry", my voice was shaky, but convincing enough.

He threw the covers off both of us. I was shocked again to see that I was now wearing a pink, silk nightie. He was sick, and I had no idea how he kept doing things without me waking up. I pulled it down really quickly, as it had rolled up around my stomach.

He laughed and smirked, once again taking me roughly by the wrist, and yanking me up off the bed, towards the kitchen.


	7. Different Shades

If anyone had walked into the kitchen as we were eating breakfast, they would have never suspected anything was wrong at all. We ate toast, like normal people, drank coffee, like normal people, and sat at the table, like normal people. He read the newspaper, and I stared at the back of the paper, wondering what was going on in his mind behind it. There was no communication between us, apart from when I moved to get up. He shot up out of his seat and was over my side of the table in a second, holding my arms. I froze yet again, desperately hoping I hadn't angered him in some way.

"Where are you going??"

"I …well I just ..", I couldn't meet his gaze, so I shut my eyes and faced the floor.

His grip tightened the longer I stayed silent.

"Well what is it?!?", the words sliced through his teeth, as if he was doing all that he could not to scream at me.

"I …I just wanted to go to the bathroom….I didn't mean to… to annoy you…or anything", I finally managed to finish my sentence.

His expression was hard to read, like he was deciding whether to believe me or not.

His shoulders lowered and his grip on my arms relaxed. Just as quickly as his mood changed, he pulled me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapped all the way around me tight, and his chin resting on my head. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop shaking, and he noticed this straight away.

" Whats the matter, what are you scared of ?", he sounded too earnest and concerned, it was eerie considering what had just taken place.

"I'm not scared…I'm just cold, but I still need to go to the bathroom…can I go now ?", I tried to sound as relaxed and casual as possible.

His mood rapidly changing again, he laughed out loud.

"Of course you can, what made you think you had to ask me first?"

This was all really getting on my nerves. Not in the kind of way that makes you annoyed or angry, but the kind of way that makes you constantly feel sick and tense, like at any moment something horrible was going to happen, and you just knew it was coming.

He led me to the bathroom, and once I had locked the door behind me, I heard him walk off. There was a mirror on the back of the door and I looked at myself. I was white as a ghost. I usually had pale skin, but this colour resembled a truly terrified person. My long , dark brown hair was scruffy and unbrushed, but the thing that stood out to me the most was the nightie. There was something about it that I couldn't understand. How did he already have it here? In the exact right size and length for me. He hadn't gone out since we had met so how did he know before…my thoughts trailed off as the possibility etched its way into my mind that this may have all been planned. He might have been watching me for days, weeks maybe. I kicked the door , suddenly angry. Angry at him, but mostly angry at myself for being such an easy target. The kick shook the mirror , and I quickly grabbed it, holding it still not wanting to make a noise. Then while I was holding it there, something else in the mirror caught my attention, and I kept staring, shocked at what I saw.

Large, dark bruises on both my upper arms. I started to tremble again. You could see the shape of his fists wrapped around, in a dark blue/black colour. In the moment I was so scared, I must not have even felt how hard his grip was.

"Ella, are you ok in there? You've been a while", his voice said right outside the door again.

Yet again making an immense effort to sound casual, "Sure I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok then, I'll be in my bedroom."

Once again I heard his footsteps walk away, in the opposite direction this time."

It was then that I slowly sat down and brought my hands up to my face, burying my head in them, and trying as hard as I could to cry quietly. A few minutes later I heard his footsteps approaching again and my whole body went cold. The doorknob started to turn, and the door opened. That's when he saw me there, sitting on the edge of his bath tub, tears streaming down my face.


	8. Broken

I cringed and shook all over as he slowly walked towards me.

"Please don't hurt me"

"Hurt you?" He sounded confused. "Why on earth would I hurt you? It looks like someone else already has", he said gesturing to the bruises on my arms.

He was acting strangely nonchalant. Walking over to the basin, he took a face washer and soaked it in cold water. He handed it to me.

"Clean yourself up, you look disgusting", he announced, walking out of there, leaving the door open this time.

I stared after him in shock. I needed help, and I needed help fast. These moods of his, they kept changing and I didn't want to stick around waiting for him to be in the mood to kill. But for now, I did what he said. I washed my face and used my fingers to comb through my hair.

I walked out of the bathroom to find him on the phone. The PHONE? So it was working, he had lied. I sat down on one of his sofas and listened to his conversation. He either hadn't noticed me come in or didn't care, because he didn't even glance at me as he moved about the kitchen cleaning and doing various things.

"Yeah she's here, I told you I'd do it"

"No, she's mine and don't you dare forget what we talked about, no one over here got it?"

I could hear the persons muffled voice on the other end, and they didn't sound happy at all.

"Well you can tell him to take it some place else!" "I've only got this place for two more weeks and It's just gonna be me and her , I've been planning this for a long time and I'll kill you if you screw it up!"

With that he slammed the phone back on the wall.

"Fucker." He went back to what he was doing in the kitchen when he called out "Ella!", so he obviously hadn't realised that I was already out of the bathroom and listening to every bit of his conversation, about me. He was about to walk over to the bathroom when he stopped dead in his tracks and saw me, siting there on the sofa, not knowing how to react or what to say.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

I couldn't speak, I just shook my head.

"I said how _long_ have you been _sitting_ there?"

I was completely frozen, and I must have looked guilty.

"You BITCH!", he screamed lunging for me, hands out stretched in fists.

I jumped off the sofa, running behind it , feeling completely trapped.

"Leave me alone!", I screamed back at him in a futile attempt to stop what was coming.

For a few seconds we played a sickening game of cat and mouse around the sofa. He ran left and I ran right, and vice versa. In an act of desperation I tried to make a run for it, turning my back on him completely and once again, tearing my way down the hall towards the front door. I wasn't fast enough. I felt his hands grab me from behind and shove me sideways into the wall, my head smashing a photo frame. I instantly fell to the floor, exhausted and dizzy. I curled up into a ball still pleading with him to stop, but he wouldn't. After a while I couldn't tell the difference anymore between his fists and his steel capped boots pelting into my chest.

I didn't know how long it had been, but after a while it stopped. I was barely conscious, and still lying against the wall in the hallway. I opened my eyes, and everything was black.

It took a few minutes for me to regain my eyesight and for the pain to set in. It was like every inch of my body was crushed, broken. For a while, I couldn't even move my fingers. Everything hurt so much that the only thing to do was to focus on breathing, which was hard enough , my ribs were broken. Just lying there, for what felt like hours, I couldn't cry or speak, it hurt too much. Completely helpless, I believed one hundred percent that I was either already dead, or about to die. With one eyes open, I could see blood on the carpet underneath my head. I also saw a pair of legs standing in front of me. I didn't even have the energy to be scared anymore.

Mars crouched down beside me and stroked my face. I closed my eyes, and strangely enjoyed the temporary tenderness that was coming from this monster. After a minute or two I had to courage to look into the eyes of Mars, and the sight made my heart lurch forward in my chest. He had tears streaming down his face and his jaw was clenched.

"Who did this to you?", He barely whispered.


	9. Eye of The Beast

Eye of the Beast

Its hard to hate someone when they don't know what they've done wrong, and this is how it was with Mars.

He cradled me in his arms and I winced in pain.

"Shh", he said lifting me up. "Lets get you into bed", carrying me down the hall to his room.

I didn't say anything, just stared into his eyes in utter confusion and shock. He was so gentle. Even when he lay me down onto the bed, he did it so softly. Like I was in danger of breaking, like I was delicate glass. Whether I fell asleep or passed out, I don't know, but within seconds of being in bed I was out like a light.

I woke up by the touch of a hand on my head. I could feel some kind of wet cloth dabbing at the wound on the left side of my forehead. It stung, but only a little. The cut can't have been too bad, but all wounds on the head bleed a lot, not matter how small they are. I read that.

I opened my eyes and saw him, sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, holding a bowl of warm water that had turned slightly pink. He looked hurt and concerned.

"How are you feeling?", he asked like he really, honestly cared about my well being.

I didn't say anything I just blinked and looked down.

"I think you have some broken ribs, there are bruises all over your chest, and you hit your head pretty badly too"

I nodded slowly, still unable to find words. How did he know I had bruises all over my chest, had he been looking at me when I was asleep? It was then that I noticed that the pink nightie was gone, I was wearing nothing but my bra and underwear. I felt so exposed and gross. Sick in the stomach.

"Where…where are my clothes?", I whispered.

"There was blood all over them, so I put them in the machine, should be clean soon"

He kept dabbing at the wound on my head, being careful not to push too hard, then he stopped and his facial expression became more serious, frowning a little.

"Ella, I promise they will never hurt you again, I wont let them"

There was a long pause .

"Them?", I questioned, sounding out of breath.

"They don't want us to be together, you and I, but don't worry I will never leave you. "I'll always be here to protect you", and when he said that he lent down and kissed the top of my head.

It was weird, I was actually finding it hard to believe that the person who was now taking care of me was the same person who had beaten me up. It wasn't possible was it? I tried telling myself to face the facts, that Mars was both the hero and the villain, but I couldn't. When I was lying there in the hall, in my heart I was screaming out for someone to save me, and Mars did. Mars saved me, from Mars. My head was spinning, and something else was happening as well that I didn't understand. I started to feel for him, and even found myself enjoying his company there in the bedroom.

I closed my eyes as he dried my forehead of the warm water, and I suddenly sensed that he was closer to me, but for some reason I kept my eyes shut. I cold feel his hot break on my mouth, could feel him closing in, and I found myself bring my face to his also. Our lips touched so gently at first. I gasped a little, from both nerves and excitement. He then pushed his lips harder against mine, and let his tongue slide into my mouth. I let myself get completely absorbed in the moment, not wanting it to end. His hands crept under the covers and caressed my hips and chest, softly enough so that I didn't feel the pain of my ribs.

Then one thing brought me straight back to reality. Mars's elbow knocked the bowl of water that was on his bed side table and just in time to catch it, his arm shot out . When he did this my body reacted separately to my mind. I tensed up all over and cringed, breathing heavily and whimpering. I instantly went into fight or flight ,a bodies natural defences to danger. My mind may have begun to tell me that Mars was safe, but something else inside me knew it wasn't the truth. I didn't know how many personality's he had, but at least one of them was a master of manipulation.


	10. Disturbed Slumber

Disturbed Slumber

After he secured the bowl of water again, he turned back to me, seeing my eyes still wide with shock.

"Still scared? Don't worry, no one is going to hurt you again, you've already been punished"

"Punished? But.."

"Don't question me", he said slowly but forcefully.

Then he got up, took the bowl with him and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I lay there for a long time, just staring at the ceiling, a million things bombarding my mind. How was I going to get out of here, now that I could barely stand? What did Mars have planned for me? Was I going to die here in this small brick house?

I looked down again at my chest. Tears filled my eyes when I saw that the purple bruises had now expanded and turned to black. I looked like a dead body on CSI, all pale , cut and bruised. Hair a mess, eyes still wide open, staring at an attacker that was no longer there.

I had almost fallen asleep again when I heard a smashing of glass that made me sit straight upright. As soon as I did this I screamed out in pain and fell back down. The pain was blinding, I was seeing spots, and I felt nauseous. I kept gasping and crying which made the pain all the worse. I needed someone to help me.

I heard the heavy clumping of Mars's boots down the hall towards the bedroom, I was petrified. I quickly pretended that I was still asleep . The door burst open and slammed against the wall behind it. I couldn't see him, but I know he was angry, just by the heavy breathing I could hear and the air between us that could have been cut with a knife.

With that same, slow, steady pace he walked towards the bed. I tried to stop myself from shaking but I couldn't, still pretending to be asleep.

I heard Mars chuckle sinisterly; a noise that I had come to know was not a good sign.

"Your not asleep"

I froze.

"Rise and shine sweetheart!", he yelled as he pushed down hard on my chest. The next few moments I can't really remember. All I do recall is throwing up instantly in his bedside bin, from utter agony, and then again, being lifted up from the bed, so gently.

At that moment I just wanted to die, wanted Mars to get it over and done with and finish me off, but he didn't, and he wouldn't. I cried the whole way down the hall. I cried more when he forcefully sat me down in the shower and turned on the cold water. I hated him as he stood there and smiled as I sat crouched up in a ball in the corner of the shower.

After what I think was around 30 minutes or so, I could no longer feel the cold. I was completely numb all over ,which was actually a huge relief from the pain. I don't remember whether he was standing there the whole time or not, or whether he left me locked in there, but after sometime, I heard the shower door creak open, I felt his presence in there with me. When the water turned from straight cold to warm, it was the best feeling. Amazing. I opened my eyes and everything was blurry because of the water, but I could see that he was topless and wearing boxers. Cradling me in his arms, he lifted me up to the shower head and shampooed my hair. Both of us were completely covered in bubbles and soap. I guess if it had been a different situation, this would have been really sexy, but it wasn't, at least not for me. Even when he removed both of our clothes completely.


	11. The Continuance

Was it consensual? Did I even say no? I seemed to remember everything else. Every kiss, every touch, and all the rest. But whether I wanted it or not…I couldn't say. The fact was, that after it happened, we both sat on the floor in the shower gasping for air. Exhausted.

We sat there for a long time, undressed, the hot water pounding down on both of our heads. Afterwards I found myself wrapped up in a white towel, cradling my legs on his sofa. Waiting for him to come out of his bedroom, and finish doing whatever he was doing. I was sipping something that tasted like orange Gatorade. He said it was to re-hydrate me. I would think myself stupid later for taking anything from him.

"Dry yet?", he said casually, walking out from the corridor, wearing nothing but a pair of black trackies, his hair now dry.

"My hairs still damp", I told him. "This stuff tastes pretty good". I felt so comfortable with him now. Like he wouldn't hurt me anymore, now that he had got what he wanted. A grave miss-judgement on my behalf.  
"Drink it fast", he commanded, taking his keys from the kitchen bench.

"Why…are we going somewhe…"

"Just drink it", he again commanded.

So I drank. 3 whole glasses. As soon as I had finished the first one, he poured another., and another one after that. It was only at the start of the fourth that I began to feel tired. Really tired, and dizzy.

"What is this?", my speech was slurring, I couldn't think straight.  
Mars put a finger to my lips.

"Shh", he whispered. "Its all going to be fine, just let yourself go."

I lazily pushed his hand away, and made a move to get up, but the whole world was spinning. "Please", I said, "I just want to go to bed, I don't feel…", and this is when I felt my legs go from underneath me, and everything went black.

It must have been a freeway. I could feel the road smooth and straight underneath us. The loud rumbling of the truck. That disgusting music bellowing from the stereo. It was hot. I opened my eyes when I fully came around after a few minutes or so. I looked in front of me and sure enough, we were on a freeway, yet the beach was sprawled out a while ahead of us. My window was open, and my hair was fully dry now, the wind picking it up and dropping it. I moved my head slightly to look at the driver. I had a massive migraine. The sun was so bright, I could barely see. I knew it was him though, from his hair and body. I coughed suddenly, alerting him that I was awake.

"Finally, your awake!", he said cheerfully. "You've been asleep for a day and a half!"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe that it was a day and a half later. We must have been far from his place then.

"Are you sure your feeling alright?", he said sounding concerned.

"What…where are we going?"

"To my new place! Remember me telling you that I was moving?".

I didn't remember.

"We are going to start a life together, a new start, where no one can find us."

I started to think of the things I would have said to my friends, to my parents, if I'd known I would never see them again.


	12. The Arrival

The Arrival

He had changed me again., I noticed, looking down at the light denim skirt and black singlet I was now wearing, both of which I had never seen before.

I wasn't so much scared as I was, well sort of, shocked.  
It had all happened so fast, and I still couldn't really believe it. These things don't _actually_ happen.

"Are you excited?", Mars suddenly said enthusiastically.  
My mind was a blank, still feeling the effects of whatever he had drugged me with, I was feeling nauseous.

"Ella?", He said expectantly, yet urgently.

"I…I feel sick", I said simply because it was true, and I couldn't think of anything else to answer him with.  
"That doesn't surprise me, you shouldn't look down when your in a car you know, always makes me feel sick if I do, try looking out the window."

So I did. For ten more minutes before I noticed the car turning down a dirt road.

I felt really scared, but too scared to make a run for it when we came to a stop. Not to mention I was so dizzy I probably would have fallen over, if Mars hadn't come around to my side of the car and lifted me up.

"Here we are"

I was being carried down a gravel. path up to what looked like an old beach shack. We were close to the front door now, the whole pace was made of logs. It looked like a cabin that belongs in the middle of a forest, not meters away from a beach.

That's when he let go of me, well practically dropped me on the front door step, causing me to graze both of my palms and knees. It didn't matter, I was grateful to be lying down, the dizziness was overwhelming. He then took a key out of his pocket and opened the front door. Once he was inside, he slammed the door shut, leaving me on the front porch.

This was my one and only chance to try to escape, and boy did I try. Immediately with very slight hesitation I held onto the windowsill next to the door and tried to steady myself, the world was spinning. The pain in my head was immense, and everything was very, very bright.

I stumbled down the two steps that lead up to the doorway, and urgently began to make my way down the gravel path, quickly yet carefully, quietly. I was almost at the end too, when I felt the lump rise up my throat. I just had time to get to the car before I was disgustingly sick before falling to the ground.

I never lost consciousness, but my body was completely numb, I couldn't move, I could barely breathe, and I couldn't open my eyes for the pain behind them.

I head the front door open, and terror overcame me. Every impulse in me wanted to scream, wanted to run, get out of there. I tried to get up one more time, but couldn't even make it to my knees before my body fell back to the ground with a dull thud.

"ELLA!"

I could hear his voice was angry, outraged. I felt completely helpless, as I listened to his footsteps running down the gravel towards me. The only thing I could think of at the time, was to pretend that I was unconscious, to try and make him more worried than angry, a desperate and futile attempt.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING?", He could see that I wasn't awake, yet he was acting like I could hear him perfectly well. But I still didn't answer him.

"STAND UP!"

I still lay there with my eyes closed, shaking mostly from fear, and partly because I was sick. He kicked me in the ribs, not with breakable force, but with enough force that made me cry out in pain, revealing that I was in fact concious.

"You ungrateful bitch". He said under his breath, with gritted teeth.

I was crying, and I couldn't stop, I didn't know what was happening or what was going to happen to me. Mars roughly picked me up once again, taking me inside this time. By this time everything was black, either because of the drugs or because it was now night time, or both. I recall being put onto a bed and undressed, still shaking. Music was blaring through the house. The whole place smelt like wood, and the beach. The last thing I remembered before the next morning was a warm body beside me, and a sharp slicing feeling on my arm, followed by the hot trickle of blood running down it.


	13. Our Heart

I've never slept deeper than I did that night. Not a dream, not a turn over. It probably seemed as if I was dead.

The first thing I remember was the heat. I could hear the whole house creaking, expanding from the warmth. I opened my eyes slowly, and saw spots. Lots of little black spots fading in and out. I looked across from me. He was still lying on the other side of the bed, asleep. My heart skipped several beats when I saw a knife in his hand, which was resting on his chest. The knife had dried blood on it. I was breathing faster and faster as I noticed a dull ache in my upper arm.

I gasped when I saw the blood, freshly seeping through the brown towel that my arm was wrapped in.  
He stirred. I was _so _scared. His eyes opened and fixed on me at once, and I didn't move, didn't breathe, waiting for the explosion.

'Morning Beautiful!', Mars said with the utmost enthusiasm. 'Did you sleep well?'

"…Yes", I barely managed to say.

He leaped out of bed, and I jumped backwards in dreaded anticipation, holding the covers up around my chest. He reached his hand out like the perfect gentlemen.

"Come on, let me show you the place", he said with a giant grin. I hesitated.

"Don't you trust me?"

I had no choice, it was either take his hand or, well I didn't want to know the other option. I got up slowly, feeling less dizzy than the night before, but by no means steady. At least the spots had gone.

The towel had fallen from my arm without me noticing. Mars turned to me.

"You should cover that up, you've already lost a lot of blood ", he said cavalierly.

I stared at him, not saying a word. Not knowing what he wanted me to do. After about ten seconds he looked at me like I was utterly useless .

"Come with me, there's a bandage in the car".

The house was confusing, and much bigger than I expected. What made it confusing was that the kitchen was in the middle, with four corridors exiting all four sides of it, with 2 or 3 rooms attached to each, yet they all seemed to be connected. Like a maze. All the rooms were very small though, I noted as we wove our way through them to get back to the front door.

The blood loss explained the spots, I thought as the front door opened, and the scorching sun beamed into the house. As we walked down the front steps, something struck me. Mars was holding my hand. Gently, like he knew that I wouldn't run. Like he didn't want to cause me any discomfort.

He was wearing a khaki t-shirt and black jeans, with his hair down and wavy as usual. He had stubble, that hadn't been there when we first met. We arrived at the car, then he unlocked the passenger door and reached down under the passenger seat. As I stood there, I had a strange sensation of calm. There was no impulse to run as usual, I was relaxed standing there looking at him.

He was still rummaging around under the seat when I saw something poking out from under his shirt on his right arm. It was a cut. I didn't understand, and the feeling of calm quickly changed to uneasiness. Had he cut himself too? Had I fought back with the knife having no memory of it? Why would he cut himself too? I sat down, right there on the gravel. Mars rushed over.

"Are you alright?"

"How did I get this?", I blurted out, instantly wishing I had kept my mouth shut.

He looked deep into my eyes, crouching down at my level. He took a deep breath in.

"I wanted us to share something… you and me…we'll have this forever", he said quietly, putting his left hand over the cut on his arm, and his right hand over mine.

I had tears in my eyes, but from what I couldn't say. They began to trickle lightly down my face as he pulled out a bandage and wrapped it firmly around my arm. It hurt , but I could tell that he was trying to do it softly.

I was crying now, not making any noise, but shuddering. I felt something change in him. That's when he looked at me while shaking, tears in his own eyes, and kissed my tears away. He kissed my closed eyes, kissed the tip of nose. He kissed each cheek with a softness I could barely feel. Then he kissed me on the lips, at first tenderly, then more passionately as I began to kiss him back. There on the driveway, I realised something. Something I never thought possible. I was falling in love with Marshall Krupcheck.


	14. You Never Know

We sat there. For what felt like hours. Just sat there, staring at each other, soaking in the sun. Nothing felt real. I forgot who I was, and I forgot how I got there. I forgot my friends, my family, and the life that I left behind.

Mars helped me up, but started walking away, through the bushes that lined the driveway, towards what I assumed was the beach.

I didn't run. Something had changed.

After a minute or so I followed through the bushes, getting scratched by blackberries on the way through.

I couldn't see him, only the rocky beach ahead of me. My eyes scanned the jagged edged of the tide. There he was, off in the distance about thirty metres away, facing the house, with his back to the ocean.

He wasn't looking my way.

He trusted me.

With almost no hesitation, I made my way over the rocks. I was bare foot, and my toes were bleeding by the time I reached him. He didn't look up, it was as if he hadn't seen me at all. I sat on a rock a couple of metres behind him, and faced the ocean. It was grey, despite the heat. There were no birds. The placed felt forgotten and isolated. I couldn't stand it, so I turned around to face Mars.

When I turned I was shocked to see him on a rock right behind me, facing me. He put his arm out towards me. I didn't flinch.

'Come here Ella'

I stepped on to his rock, he opened his legs and motioned for me to sit in the space between them, facing the house. I sat. He put his arms around my stomach, hugging me so tightly I could barely take a breath in. I opened my mouth to say something but he slapped a hand over it. I closed my mouth, I felt owned. He then loosened his grip a little and we breathed in and out in tandem.

Staring at the house, it felt strangely like home.

'Our Place', said Mars, reading my mind. I nodded slowly.

Then he changed again. I could feel him hard behind me.

He flipped me on to my back against the giant rock, causing me to hit the back of my head against it. I felt dizzy for a moment, then I felt his hands pulling my skirt up. I couldn't do anything, and a large part of me didn't want to. I head him unzip, and the force of him entering me brought tears to my eyes. He was strong. I closed my eyes and let him take me, all the while staring in to his expressionless face.

I felt torn apart, and yet entirely satisfied. I didn't know how we ended up back in the house. It was night time now, and cold.

I was sitting in front of a stone fireplace, with Mars. There was no wood, and no fire. Yet, sitting there with him, I felt warmer than I could ever remember.

He was holding his knife, our blood still on it, brown and cracking.

He raised the knife.

'Give me your arm'

I did.

He traced the blade along it, up and down for several minutes. I closed my eyes.

I screamed, he had cut me. I tried to pull away from him, but he held me firmly.

'Don't struggle, you'll be ok'

I was crying, he lifted the knife towards my face. I struggled to inhale. I was frozen.

He traced it along my lips, causing my own blood to drip in my mouth.

He removed the knife, I took a deep breath.

He kissed me.


End file.
